I have recently, and serendipitously, encountered a YouTube video of Audre Lorde reading her essay Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power and it uncovered something in me that I knew inherently but had began to forget. I recently left a company that I was at for four years. My experience there left me changed. When I reflect on the erotic as Lorde, Perell, Ayandastood and other thought leaders describe it—which is an “aliveness”— and how shows up in my life, it feels like that moment when you’ve been contorting your body to try and find that sweet spot of stretch. What I meant to say is that I realise I have been having a deadening experience. It has been some months since I left and I am returning to my self. I am feeling inspired again, and not just inspired, there has been action after inspiration. I am returning to my deep and livening love of learning, of consuming knowledge. I feel as though I am opening my eyes again for the first time and I am seeing bright vibrant colours, seeing not just sunlight, but the magical stream of light that is choosing to take rest on my deep brown skin, light that is nourishing the green of grass. I am seeing the way the water glimmers and because I live in the UK, I am guzzling the brief moments of sun like you drink water on a hot summer’s day, desperately. Passionately.
“You have to go the way your blood beats. If you don’t live the only life you have, you won’t live some other life, you won’t live any life at all.” —James Baldwin
So in 2025, I am committing– taking a vow– marrying myself to embodying “aliveness” in my relationships, in my work, in my hobbies, in my habits, in my clothes, in what I consume on social media, in what I eat, in the way I spend my time. I chose to live, in the only way I know how, kindly, messily, quietly then loudly, truly.
THE EVOLVING KIND 